Have you ever had a wonderful customer service experience that made you feel happy, elated or even just a bit more than satisfied? Well this blog post is not for you. If you’ve been neglected, fucked over, or treated like a criminal keep on reading.
My issues began almost 5 months ago. For some reason I wanted to check my prepaid card balance on my WetZeller card. (names have been changed to protect the guilty, cuz that’s how me do in Merica.) Well it just was not right, there was nothing there. There should have been something.
Well I call in to these lovely folks and get some guy with a thick Indian accent. Pretty standard for a lot of low rate companies or tech companies. I get a canned response and dispute the charge when I find out what it is. A purchase at a Walmart. OMG NO NO NO. Yuck. I haven’t bought anything at a Walmart since I found my soul. The sneakers I bought there once succumbed to the rain. I have been through every addiction on the planet and Walmart actually provided the low point of my life. I bought their underwear. That will forever be my low. The Wets say they will get back to me in 24-48 hours.
Fast forward 3 weeks and 4 calls later. Every call I get the same canned 24-48 hour response repeatedly. The Indian guy turned out to be a blessing. It was Bulgarians, Jamaicans and gypsy thieves after that. The Jamaican woman decided that when I raised my voice mid sentence, she was going to shout into the phone at me. That was tons of fun because I had to hold back. I still did want my money back so I could not bust out with much other then lamely calling her a mean person.
My frustrations continue another week. A full month later I get a response asking for IDs, police reports, a copy of my bank statement, license, proof of residence and proof that I was in my country at the time of the transaction. Deadline:one week. Otherwise they would assume that I was completely full of shit. Now I get ID and police report but I have never been asked for proof I was in my country. I do have a smartphone so I clearly can prove it did not leave this area, but I don’t really have proof I am where I am on a daily basis. There is no need for me to be a daily consumer of anything other then food, water and oxygen. I don’t slither to a methadone clinic everyday, clock in at a job, or go to adult day care so this could be an issue.
The ironic part of all of this is this was all over $50. You would think it would be some insane amount like $5000 or even $500 but no a mere $50. This was the time I also found out the charge was in California. I’m a fucking friend in Pennsylvania who made a charge 7 hours before the fake one. So basically I would have had to hijack a plane from the local airport, convince the flight to head to LA, convince the police to escort me high speed to some random Walmart in the LA Suburbs so I could randomly buy $50 worth of bullshit, and then take a flight directly home so I could call the next day and cry fraud. I wouldn’t fly around that quickly if I stole 5 million dollars and certainly not for $50.
Luckily I had been to the doctors that day. I only go every 6 weeks so I happened to luck out. Otherwise these crooks would have absolutely taken my money. Still though I had to not only provide completely detailed receipts but had to get a “permission slip” from my doctor saying I was there. Then I had to get it notarized. I still have no clue why this was necessary other then to try and make my issue cost more then $50 for me to solve so my money could be pocketed.
Then the wait happened. Again. My EuroTrash contact would string me along a little at a time. She needed a clearer license picture. She needed the monthly statement of my charges, not just the page I printed out. It seemingly went on forever. It was only 3 months in all actuality.
Then I go the great news seemingly out of the blue. Your money has been refunded. I am not sure if this happened so suddenly because I threatened to get my local government involved. It only took 3 days after I made that promise for my money to get back to me.
The money was staring at me in my account. Yet it showed up as being a rejected refund. No one knew what was going on when I called in. I waited 2 more weeks for them to tell me it was available. So I tried to use the money right away. Decline, decline, decline. Someone then suddenly knew what they were doing and said we need to cancel your card and issue you a new one.
This is the part that got me going absolutely batshit. Why wouldn’t you have cancelled the card right away when I told you 4 months ago? Were you waiting for me to put more money on my account so you could buy some suspect meat, forbidden fruit, or earbuds that make music sound like something that is used as a torture device? Waiting for me to send in my bank statement with the account number included?
So I had to wait for this card to come in the mail an additional 2 weeks. It finally came, I gambled the money away rather quickly and chopped that shit up. It was found money so there was no need to save it or buy anything worthwhile. I put it into the same category as drug money or escorting money. It should be spent as quickly as possible.
All in all, my ordeal ended up taking me 3 days short of a full 5 months to get a refund. The extra month of waiting after they refunded me was just the cherry on top.
I sort of wish the rage would continue. It was great motivation for losing weight, running and punching things. I probably should have bought a punching bag but being the reincarnated Jew that I am and current part mad Russian I decided the wall would be better. I must say the wall held up much better then my knuckles.
The rage ended. Or a brief period. Then something worse then fraud came along.
A peppy middle aged woman lacking a sex life. She was not trying to get with me so I can still breathe. She is next in the crossfire…….