Here We go with another behind the scenes glimpse into the Late night conversations via text between SpaceDog and Myself. This Late Night Lunacy leads to numerous Ideas for both Posts and for the Blog in General.
That and Neither of Us can afford a Mental Health Professional aka a Shrink.
And Here We Go:
It all started when I texted this Pic to SpaceDog.
SpaceDog: Is this some kind of penis brainteaser? So apparently there are sneakers now with LCDs in the tongue that can play music videos on a loop.
Les: I found the Pic on some egotistical Art Gallery’s bullshit Website. Holy Shit fuck Air Jordan’s. I’d loop a Musical Porn Montages and play that shit everywhere I go.
+SpaceDog then Texts me a Link for further clarification barstoolsports.com+
Les: Life Beyond Beer Pong?! Lmfao Good game all around.
SpaceDog: I was gonna write an article saying how much i hated Pedro guy from Real World because it was the anniversary of his death, and everyone said nice shit and i literally hated him so much i never watched the show again after.
Les: Ha. Sounds like you should, fuck everyone else’s bullshit.
SpaceDog: I want to actually get people angry though to bring traffic to blog……
Les: Not a bad tactic and a great idea I’m all for pissing people off. The more the merrier. All that shit aside more traffic is what we could use bout now. Where the fuck did all the niche dwellers fuck off too?!!
SpaceDog: My head is so motivated for weeks but my body feels dopesick. At one point I didn’t jack off for 10 days. I honestly think that is the longest I’ve ever gone since like i was 14 before i even knew what my dick was.
Les: 10 days goddamn, Thats really crazy, funny, and true statement.
SpaceDog: Well actually maybe when i was on dope, but that was only because i was fucking my dude in various fats food bathrooms (and woods, us gays do love sex in the woods.)
Les: Its hard to jerk off when you keep nodding off every 5 minutes. The Old banging in Bathrooms an American Sex Classic. Having a Woody in the Woods. Shit that sounds like a gay porn title.
SpaceDog: The sounds of autumn…rancid sperm hitting decaying leaves.
Les: Holy Shit! Lmfao!
SpaceDog: The dead sperm inspired me, new blog Lmfao
Les: DEAD SPERM is My new favorite Band.
SpaceDog: If u can guess what it is about….you win 5 bucks paypal.
Les: My new saying “When faced with Writer’s Block remember dead sperm inspires. $5 for My Ferrari GoFundMe. Hmmm…
SpaceDog: Dead sperm and the smegma seven…i want a big band like George Clinton and The Funkadelics or Arrested Development.
Les: Smegma Seven, whats that a porno remake of The Magnificent Seven which was the American Western remake of 7 Samurais?! Awesome.
SpaceDog: Damn i saw your 3rd fucks. Was it cathartic for you like taking a giant shit. If i could have miracle coffee (or Adderall) right i would seriously put all your fucks in there to see if i could come up with the missing fucks.
Les: Its fucking weird I just think of a couple things I’m all Fuck That, and then its like fucking Autopilot the fucks just start to flow. Honestly there might be a Part 4. Who Knows. Thats why this one was titled “F List Continues Baffling Its Creator” which is nothing but the fucking truth. Or perhaps Adderall in your coffee. That be truly awesome if you could/did. Shit I wouldn’t personally it be too much even for me. Saw your Tweet Very Cool.
SpaceDog: The one from 10 seconds ago or the rambling list of musicians that will never play together. I think if i had like 19 pieces of paper i could do it. Oh wait it’s 2018 we have computers.
les: The on that started “There’s a lot of shit on f-yourblog.com Lmfao. Then you wrote something about healing yourself with music. True these damned Digital Type Writers are rather amazing.
I then texted this picture to SpaceDog
SpaceDog: U made that? Thats filthy.
Les: Unfortunately not. I saw it and it did remind me of some of My shit which is why I get a real kick out of it. When I look at it it makes Me laugh like a motherfucker.
SpaceDog: I need to find a good dick pic for u. I owe u like 20 penii
Les: I uploaded it today to the Blog for future use Lmfao.
SpaceDog: D***
Les: At least 20. D***?
SpaceDog: So the autocorrect suggests dick and 1000 things way worse. Yet when i do the talk to text it censors me.
+SpaceDog texted Me the Mushroom Emoji followed by The Egg Plant.+
Les: Thats SO FUCKED, it fucking censored you thats fucking balls. Your on Shrooms and have an Erection?!
SpaceDog: I couldn’t find tiny hands that mighta worked.
Les: For What?! Some sort of Pedophile Emoji Code, I’m Lost.
+I then texted SpaceDog the New Bizarre Smiley Face Emoji+
SpaceDog: Idk I’m just still frustrated i don’t think theres an emoji for anal.
Les: WTF is this New Emoji supposed to fucking represent exactly?! I can’t believe no one has put out X Rated Emojis yet for fucks Sake or Weed Ones either. Its a Life Alert Emoji it means Help me I’m having a fucking Stroke! It could be what an Emoji looks like when it cums.
SpaceDog: Omg the new life alert commercial is funny as shit. Im gonna look for a dirty emoji APK right now.
Les: Motherfucking Life Alert, Can’t say the classic tag line its fucking Trademarked now even though they don’t use it in their ads anymore. Good for You happy hunting.
SpaceDog: Im down i don’t need it to find accounts on mu device and modify my sd card for the sake of a few titties.
Les: Yeah fuck all that Bullshittery. I wouldn’t bother either fuck and that.
SpaceDog: Apks are great let u bypass the store on android but idk how the fuck to fix my phone….Wow i found a porno sounding chick on Spotify…the first 8-12 seconds are passable but now my ears might be bleeding.
Les: Ah Ha! A fucking Loophole.
SpaceDog: I almost don’t want to link it until u piss me off somehow.
Les: Her musica gota real porno vibe that fucking funny. Good to be prepared I suppose.
SpaceDog:Well she’s in the bed according to the lyrics and fuck me is a lyric. Sounds like the equivalent of a dj scratching a record but it sounds more like chalk on a blackboard.
Les: My username on Spotify is !@#$%^&*()_+ figured that shit out. That’s about it so fucking far.
SpaceDog: I guess this chick cancels out Maggie Rogers, i don’t think i have seen an authentic hippie chick with talent ever (at least not a millennial one)
Les: Me either. Who is Maggie Rogers?!
SpaceDog: Lights on…..shes some chick sol discovered. I almost dropped my were when i first was listening cuz i expected it to be trash. She has a bit of a stevie nicks vibe but looks more like a pretty, less skank, stoned janis Joplin.
Les:Damn gotta be damn decent to make a man drop his weed. Nice combo more power to her.
SpaceDog: Haha oh look bohemian rhapsody is charting for the 190 millionth different decade.
Les: 37 new Fucks to be listed now. Bohemian Rhapsody WILL NEVER DIE! Just like fucking Stairway To Heaven or Areosmith’s Dream On.
SpaceDog: Fuck Spotify for making me add 60 new artists i like overtime i listen more than 3hrs at once…theres 38.
Les: Some shit lingers like a stale fart. 38 it is. Spotify has that fucking effect.
SpaceDog: Remember when we used to actually have to talk to other people for bands or actually go to shows or have some dickhead at record exchange push some bullshit.
Les: Oh fuck yeah I remember the pre tech music World.
SpaceDog: I do just not the brief period between the end of napster and the beginning of youtube. I was way too fucking high.
Les: The Assholes at the Record Exchange were a bunch of pompous ass condescending cunts. I think we’re in the same boat with being high and timelines.
SpaceDog: All I remember about then was avril lavigne. I really think that was like 1 of every 3 songs played on the radio for those years or maybe she used to make me nod out…she kinda looked like a teenager junkie.
Les: Avril Motherfucking Lavigne. Radio replay rotations killed Radio. She was the original Tween Musical Artist.
SpaceDog: Yeah theres like 2 tolerable stations here. The rest cause me suicide watch.
Les: The only Radio listen too is in My Wife’s car which has Satellite Radio which cursing and lack of commercials aside rally isn’t a hell of a lot better than regular Radio. I haven’t been able to find a Rock Station in over 10 fucking years for crying out fucking loud. Cunty Country Music Awards.
SpaceDog: The one station is still alive believe it or not here. WMMR. Pierre Robert still there too. She has the one lyric “I don’t know who you are but I’m with you.” I made out in the back seat with some stranger lady twice my age because it fit the lyrics.
Les: holy fuck stick, WMMR is still around good for them. Pierre Robert has to be 150 by now goddamn. You were on When Cougar Attack!!
SpaceDog: I’ve had several. LOL
Les: That lyric nowadays sound like the average Trump Supporters. Blind Ignorant Lemming Twats that they are. Several?! DAMN you’ve been on fucking Safari and shit.
SpaceDog: This one was consent at least. I had some midget lady who looked like the one in kindergarten cop try to follow blow me. Except i was passed out in a chair LOL
Les: A real fucking legit midgit?! Thats like trying to play Pool with a Limp Rope.
Les: where there any Senior Citizen Sluts?! After the midget I fucking have to ask. Poor Little Lady was denied the dick.
SpaceDog: She was like 50 LOL, there were a senior slut who blacked out, fucked some guy she had no clue of, and left her teeth there.
Les: LMFAO!! She fucking left her fucking teeth there, well good news id I hear gum jobs are amazing. I accidentally fucked a 89 year old woman once. She got confused and wondered into the MEn’s room at the fucking Mall when I was jerking off in one of the stalls. Anyway She busted in on me, thought I was they Bathroom Attendant,dropped Her drawers, and sat down to use the Toilet. I freaked the fuck out and started yelling at Her, but She was weak as shit so She’d try to stand the hell up only to fall back down on my dick. Worst part of it all was She pissed all over my balls. LMFAO (is that wrong?!) Fuck the American Pie pussies I have that gross humor that will make People actually dry heave.
SpaceDog: Thats funny as fuck. That type of comment exactly makes me wish that old people comedy with david allan grier and wiki lawrence was on anything but network tv.
Les: Just some weird imagery that popped into My fucking head the rest wrote itself. The pissing on My balls makes Me laugh like hell not sure why.
+My phone rings and its SPaceDog but it rang once and stopped+
SpaceDog: Sry idk how that happened. Yeah thats when it got my tbh.
Les: That’s cool, I can’t talk on the phone which pisses Me off to no end, but My Wife is sleeping and on Puppy Duty. And with these insanely high as wannabe Cathedral ceiling We got here its goddamn impossible to avoid an echo of some sort which ironically also pisses Me Off when I’m on the Phone most of the fucking time anyway.
SpaceDog: It (his phone) thought the couch was my head.
Les: It’s a Short Bus SmartPhone.
SpaceDog: I guess i had my ass there and it was warm and it thought it was my face.
Les: Well they’re called Ass Cheeks so….
SpaceDog: OK now Im legit putting my phone on my ass to see what happens. Oops i have no ass…no call. Not even bare ass cheek works…it only likes hot ass.
Les: Awesome, all in the name of SCIENCE! Shit I figure Bare Ass would have worked.What about if you put it under your balls?! Just drape those bitches on the phone. Might work.
SpaceDog: Yeah maybe if i wasn’t on my stomach laying down my ass would more resemble a face cheek. How about in my rectum, then if i don’t text u back but only send you back repeated emojis u do the same for me since my phone is on vibrate? Thanks.
Les: Just type by squeezing Your Ass Cheeks together like some fucked up Morse Code. Sure if it works I got your back. Do the Emojis have to make sense because if they’re just random I’ll be honest I might cheat and stick it in My Dog’s ass.
SpaceDog: Ok so i really thought it would if i stuck it off to the side of my ball sack but neither side worked.
Les: GODDAMNIT! Oh well Phone wins. All that’s left is to try Tainting it. Not sure how that would work though.
SpaceDog: Yeah now that i am rubbing myself down with the phone like it’s a metal detector wand i think the show is over.
Les: I’m so fucking Posting this tomorrow. Like a fucking Metal Detector LMFAO Brilliant.
SpaceDog: I went in from the back on the taint. And it made my font big like i have a fucking jitterbug and am 90.
Les: Did it work and if not try doing it again in reverse this time.
SpaceDog: And it keeps telling me voice input is unavailable.
Les: It enlarged the font, that’s fucking insanely amusing.
SpaceDog: I gotta hit the front bar.
Les: Voice Input Unavailable BOO to that BULLSHIT.
SpaceDog: Ok i did the back again. I almost taint dialed someone.
Les: Getting Closer, Progress is being made. If it works and someone answers just scream “TALK TO MY TAINT” and hang the fuck up,
SpaceDog: Pits
Les: That works I suppose as well.
SpaceDog: Pits not active…..the smelly one nor the distinguished one. Anywhere else?
Les: No I’m pretty sure I’m out of ideas at this point. The Genitals were really my Wheel House. Lmfao.
SpaceDog: Yeah my taint is a lot more talkative then i would have thought, and blind.
Les: Blind I would expect, a talkative Taint indeed.
SpaceDog: Oooooh I’m a fat fuck imma try side boob.
Les: The Taint Factor Winner for 2018 is Gus Gifferson with a Record breaking 10 inch Taint.
Spacedog: Q9q SP.p .o
Les: Side Boob CLASSIC. Q9q. Sp.p .o I believe it’s ALIVE!
SpaceDog: The first was the right boob. the app was the left. Left boob also is blind. Font big again.
Les: Interesting. So the enlarged font is reoccurring you say. So Your saying Your right Boob can see?! As if instead of a nipple You grew a fucking eyeball? Still worked blind or not.
SpaceDog: I wish you and your wife were here i was gonna have her test it with her lady parts but then i realized my dan is on this phone and if she stuck it in her after me that might be 9th degree rape in some states. Why Stop?
Les: Valid point I don’t need a 9th degree Rape Baby on My hands thank you.
SpaceDog: That was my mid chest then me saying what and stop because my tv went to steve harvey and i hate that guy.
Les: NEVER SHALL WE STOP!
SpaceDog My phone is strictly dicktly anywhere after tonight.
Les:I know You added him to the second Fucks list. Strictly Dicktly?!
SpaceDog: Yeah bad memory some queen used to say that in the 90’s. I always wanted to punch him.
Les: Don’t fucking blame You there I would have too. I’d say pondering sticking My phone in a Kangaroo’s pouch to see if it works accept I’d end up arrested and charged with molesting a fucking Kangaroo or some goddamn thing like that.
SpaceDog: As long as i didn’t have to stick it in a joey.
Les: LMFAO! Crackhead Man Whore Junkies Need Not Apply.
SpaceDog: I meant the baby kangaroo but I’ve been joey free since those ten guys in my 20’s who kinda had no name.
Les: I mean we could shove the phone into some Junkies access they got from shooting up so much shit and see if that works. I know what You meant No Worries I just saw an opening so I took it. The Nameless 10.
SpaceDog: I will stick it halfway in tomorrow at some point. I need to prepare for that and I Zombie. SpaceDog and the 10 ancient queers of the earth. The short form is 9 Blackouts and a broken toilet.
Les: LMFAO EXCELLENT. !0 Ancient Queers, Short Form, I Zombie.
That Ended That Night Transmission.
Brought to You By,
SpaceDog & Les Sober 