Hotel vs. Motel- THE GREAT DEBATE

HOTEL VS MOTEL (DRUMROLL PLEASE)

So yeah I suppose each of them has their own charm, their own pleasures in their own ways. I’m not really which one I like better because well it depends on who I am with (or not with) what it is that I am doing and who I am doing it with.
HOTELS

Hotels for the most part are not my preferrences unless I am by myself and want to remain as anonymous as possible or if I am with a party of 8 or more people, which is not all that often honestly. Basically if it is going to take 3 cars deep of people in order to party I like hotels better.

Unless they are non-smoking.

I’m sorry but at least 10-20 percent (I have no clue of the exact number) of our population smokes and when you add in things other then nicotine I’m sure the number increases substantially. So I believe it is really dumb for ENTIRE hotels to be non-smoking.

First of all, it is really annoying to have to wake up in the middle of the night, put your clothes back on, go down 8 floors in the elevator, parade yourself around in front of the staff and then go outside to smoke with some 50 year old businessman who you’d rather not be smoking with. Of course smokers really have no choice who to smoke with now as we are herded behind ropes and then when we walk one foot away from the “designated area” are told we are commiting an offense. Oh I didn’t know the air over here was completely clean, I mean you know I’m sure that 3 mph easterly wind is not fucking with it.

Then there is the stairwell. The stairwell is a fun place to smoke for about 2 or 3 cigarettes, then when you and 2 other people have had 9 cigarettes and you hotboxed the bitch thoughts of the smoke alarm going off, well this sucks.

And all these hotels with the $150 clean air cleansing fine if you do smoke….well if you want to get around that find a prepaid card that will let you charge the room to it or a credit card you are about to go bed on. Instantly your room is smoker friendly!!!!!

Hotels do tend to have onsite restaurants, gift shops, overpriced cigarettes (on occasion), and Internet access.

Of course most hotels do have the “FUCK OFF MAID” thing to put on the door. Not all motels do.

MOTELS
Which leads me to motels…..not all motels have the “FUCK OFF MAID” door thing. Usually this tends to be the ones with maids that are mainly non English speaking and do not understand the words FUCK OFF. Of course, I wouldn’t say that to a maid. I’d probably come up with something more clever that she wouldn’t understand like, “Get the hell out of my bodybag or I like my room like I like my meat. Raw.”

And they always come at the most inopportune time like when you are having sex or while you are doing something in the bathroom or while you are doing shots or well you get the point, maids have an innate ability to arrive when you are either taking care of bathroom stuff or fulfilling one of your vices.

There does seem to be a much greater selection of amenities in the rooms of motels then hotels though. Like I have a microwave, a refridgerator, a set of burners AND glasses and dishes here. These people obviously know that if you are staying in a motel obviously you don’t have the big cheese to go out and get lavish meals.

Also large groups of people are much better for hotels, as if you’ve been to 4 or more motels, you probably will encounter the hawkish owner who watches your every move and if anymore then the amount of guests you said are in the room for 2 minutes or more calls the room or does something assy.

Of course if you are in it for a quickie, you gotta love the motel but I’ve been retired from that business for quite some time.

The maid is about to bomp on the door and I’m sure I missed 3000 things to bitch about but I do have to say this. Even though I like hotels slightly better, I have to say I just picked a winner. There is pizza and beer in the lobby tonight!!!!! How can you top that???

So if anyone is reading this, tell me your pick…..

My personal favorites for hotel is the Borgata in Atlantic City, home of the most comfortable bed in the universe, 50 cable channels (a near record for a hotel), food, spas, bars (none gay though-oh well), and well of course gambling.

Motel is the Swiss Cottage in Niagara Falls,NY. You can’t beat 70 channels, a fridge, a microwave, 24 hour coffee, donuts for breakfast, $35 a night rooms, and an average of less then 4 bugs killed in your room per week. Oh and a staff that minded their own business when I had ummm company, maids that spoke English, and well a $20 tip to the maid instantly transformed my room into a smoking room with her donning me the gift of her industrial sized ashtray. Amen sister. Amen.

By SpaceDog