A Catalog Of Humanity (Respectable Version)

The line of movie patrons shuffles forward to pay $20 for the latest CGI travesty,
The mother locked in the eternal battle to control her wildly unruly children as they run around her in circles laughing, yelling in excitement and screaming at disappointment,
The aging 30 somethings that chase trends to help them feel young and relevant,
Hipsters dressed like lumberjacks stand face to face like giant bookends each holding a vaporizer the size of a laptop, and blowing copious amounts of vapor in massive clouds that envelop their entire person upon exhaling,
The homeless man’s faithful dog who waits patiently outside the liquor store as his master pops in to buy a cheap bottle of booze,
The Grocery store bag boy who’s happy to be on cart duty as it allows him to utilize his cell phone,
The Millennial who almost runs a woman over in his massive SUV because he was preoccupied posting what he ate for lunch on FaceBook,
The Latino landscaper hanging outside the check cashing store waiting to cash his paycheck after a long and laborious day that has left him reeking of roofing tar,

The teenaged boy dressed in all black and sporting a bright red mohawk holding the door open for a little old lady proving chivalry is not only alive, but can be found in the unlikeliest of people,
The shrunken old man and his tinier wife who walk to their local diner everyday for breakfast,lunch and dinner for the past 42 years,

The withered old woman wrapped in countless shawls and blankets being pushed by her home health aid as the women rants about how when she was young a world like todays would never have been allowed to exist,
The small child fighting in vain to coax his bulldog to stop sitting stubbornly in the grass to get up and finish their walk to no avail.

The bulldog sitting in the grass without a care in the world sunning himself in the mid day rays as he continues to refuse to acknowledge his child master as he stairs vacantly into bulldog oblivion,
The ragged Tomcat that saunters through the neighbor hood with his large head and giant jowls fully believing himself to be the king of his suburban kingdom,

The sinister senior citizen on the board of the local HOA standing at the end of his driveway glowering in disgust at his neighbor’s lawn for being half an inch too high,
The baby with his family dining out in a noisy chain restaurant that refuses every attempt by her parents to get her to eat because she is severely overstimulated her wide eyes of wonder scanning over her brand new world,

The cashiers that looks like their job has left the bodies lifeless transforming them into mindless drones dragging merchandise across the loudly beeping scanner eyes half shut,

The undying commitment of the college student trying to raise money for a local soup kitchen as he is overlooked by people passing by him on the sidewalk feigning ignorance at his presence, The high school student who is dragging her feet on the way home because her parents know nothing of youth today,

And at the end of they day they go their way as I go mine,
And tomorrow we all will be back fulfilling our daily routine,
And we will see each other again the next day as well,
And we will continue to live our lives side by side never acknowledging one another.

My Mind @ 2am on

I’m an extreme night person who finds his mind most calm and creative most from 1:30am to 4:30-5am.

Here are a small sample of tweets I came up with during the early hours of the morning or in the late of night (depends on how you view time)

A. America is not a country, its a global cooperation.

B. Mr. Id is coming and The Egos can do nothing about it.

C. Smut peddlers of the world UNITE!

D. I irritate people and piss people off to make the lemmings dance for my    amusement.

E. When in doubt question

F. Hope can be dangerous

G. I’m so old I remember when Ozzy could talk like a normal human being

H. This reality feels virtual

I. Why are drug reps not referred to as drug dealers, thats what they do push drugs all day long

J. Trump America’s 1st dictator in the making.

K. Hillery those pant suits can’t hide your massive dick.

L. Sodom and Gomorra ain’t got shit on me.

M.  I hide my eyes to spare you from shit you’d never forget

N. So if you say ‘I want to fuck the shit out of him/her” means what? That your going to fuck them until they shit themselves?!

O. In 90% or more of child custody cases due to divorce the court rules in favor of the mother and I think thats sexist.

P. Shove your App up your ass.

Q. Next time some dick I dislike gets married I’m crashing and replacing the chocolate in the dessert fountain with feces.

R.  If you use a vaporizer to quite smoking tobacco good, if your vaping for vaping’s sake your a douche bag.

S. Prepare for the Hipster Holocaust can’t stand the fucking LL Bean looking lumberjack trendy clones unoriginality all over

T. Uwe Boll is a untalented ego maniac who should shut the hell up and make a good movie for once.

U. Bill Zebub is the laughing stock of independent film

V. Smarter the phone dumber the user.

W. Global warming will usher in the 2nd coming of the dinosaurs

X. Body shaming someone? When I was growing up it was called being an asshole.

Y. I swear my Bulldog farts tear gas

Z. Alcohol the true gateway drug evil.

These are just some I could remember off the top of my head as my twitter content has been frequently described as prolific by others. If your curious

Less_Sober@f_yourblog.